Power Struggle with Kids

source: google.com

Strong-willed children tend to have a repeated power struggle. But there always a way to handle such a thing. For an example, a child that like to be hugged is better to be calmed down with hugs and kisses. The most important thing is, in calming the child down while power struggling, is to approach him or her in any kind of way that he or she like most.

And remember to deliver the message when power struggling with your kids. But be short. Two messages is enough, that is, rules has to be followed and tantrum will not give them what they want. 

In order to make a power struggle become effective,  you must set a clear rules. And you have to show a calm and relax attitude, and speak in low tune.

The main task for parent when managing their children tantrum in power struggle is to accompay the child until they get calm dan ready to set a choice. Never ever abandoning your children in this kind of situation.

Your readiness to accompany your child calming down his or her tantrum will bring a beautiful message, unconditional love: "I still love you, even you show your tantrum. Power struggling is not letting the kids to cry continuously. But it is a way to let your child understand the message; rule is a rule. There are some misunderstand in parents about this, and that misunderstanding tend to encourage parent to get angry and threatening and intimidating their child. 

Threatening and angry parent in power struggle will make the kids feel insecure and unloved. While the main point of power struggle is to make kids understanding their mis-behaviour.Kids have to know certain behaviour that didn't expected by their parent. And this is absolutely different from making a child feel un-loved out of their mischievousness. Threatening and angry parent in power struggle will never help their kids understanding what rules that should be learn at the time. 

The main gain of  power struggle is to prevent your child taking over your control, and to teach them certain rules of behaviour. If you, as a parent, get angry and thratening your kids, then power struggle is inevitably will fail. Because angry parent in power struggling is giving an uncorrect behaviour; getting mad it's okay. 

So, what the best thing to do in power struggle?

Take an example: A kid refuse to stop watching TV. Dad remind him to the rule, "No TV after 6 PM."  The kids still refusing, and start to show tantrum. Dad can take kid to bedroom, wait him to calming down, and say gently, "I will wait until you finish crying."

During the kid crying, Dad only need to calm himself and avoid giving lectures. Give a hug, a kiss or what ever that show that you care to your kids.And the most amazing thing about power struggle, it can be applied to a two tears old kid. Because, one developemental process a kid must going through is learn to control himself, that is learn to obey rules and regulations. And power struggle is one of it. If a power struggle process taking place smoothly, then kids and parent will reap an absolutely priceless meaning. 

[Translated from AlissaWahid's tweets about #powerstruggle]